outof_thedark | (no subject)

(no subject)

The worst part of all of this isn't the sudden acquiring of tits or the fact that he's got hair to cope with longer than he'd like. It's none of that. It's the fact that Ty's actually got past family history to compare it to. He's nowhere near as hot as Axl had been in his female form, which isn't exactly unexpected, but it's still ridiculous.

So he takes a cue from Axl and heads out to find the nearest goddess of love.

With no Michele around, that leaves him with the greek version and hopefully it works the same as it does back in Auckland and fucking his way back to being a man is possible. Ty wanders to Aphrodite's door and knocks firmly, cursing under his breath when a gust of wind tangles his hair in his face again.

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What the hell is normal for Ty, anymore? He's realized, standing on her doorstep, that he's basically come to solicit sex because he has family history to compare it to. How fucked up is his life? "Normally a dude, yeah," Ty agrees. "That's actually sort of why I'm here," he admits.

"Oh?" Aphrodite says, curious. "Need some advice on how to navigate living in a female body?"

She arches an eyebrow. "It would be nice, by the way, to know who you are."

Ty stalls, realizing that he didn't exactly lead with an introduction. He presses his fingers to his chest. "Ty, it's Ty Johnson," he says, fingers off when suddenly there are breasts where he's touching. "And not so much advice, but maybe...a way out?" he says. "This is going to sound insane," he warns. "But when my brother turned into a woman, back home in Auckland, he fucked the goddess of love and it went away."

Yup, it sounds worse out loud.

She's gotta be impressed by his nerve, at least.

"Wow,Ty," Aphrodite says in a flat, unimpressed voice, hands going to her hips. "That's totally got to be the most romantic proposition I've gotten in centuries. Please, rip off my clothes and take me right here on my porch."

Yeah, it definitely didn't sound as good coming out of his mouth. "I didn't say it was a great idea," he defends himself. "Plus, you don't seem to have half the compulsion to spread your legs as the other love goddess does." Not to mention the same underlying drive for sex that gets them into trouble so much. "But it worked for Axl. It got him normal!"

"How about you come in so we aren't having this conversation in my doorway," Aphrodite says, turning aside to let Ty come in. "So what makes you think I'm gonna just agree to do this for you as what, like, a favor?"

Ty shifts uncomfortably, making his way inside and looking her up and down warily, like he's not sure what answer's the one that will avoid him getting smacked. He's starting to think there isn't one. "I sort of hoped maybe you would think of it as a friends-thing? Plus, I didn't know if you were dating anyone."

Aphrodite tilts her head to one side, pursing her lips. "Tempting, but no. There's only one person this goddess of love spreads her legs for, and it ain't you," she says, then shrugs. "Besides, it wouldn't work. When stuff like this happens, pretty much all you can do is wait it out. Sorry, dude."

Edited 2013-08-01 01:44 (UTC)

"I'm telling you, it worked," Ty swears, because he's not entirely crazy and he's not making this up. "Axl tried everything else. He even tried waiting it out, but it wasn't until Michele taught him to be a proper...man, I guess? That's what happened."

"Oh, I believe it worked back where you're from," Aphrodite assures Ty. "I'm just telling you it's not going to work here. You and I could have an all day marathon screwing session and all it would accomplish is giving us a good workout and getting me in trouble with my boyfriend."

Ty opens his mouth to protest that he doesn't necessarily need that at all, but there's an image in his head that won't exactly go away. "Yeah, that's uh..." He's actually glad the whole 'fuck like gods' drive is out of his system, because now he can only really think that it would be awkward if they did.

"So how long does this usually last, then?"

"Usually just a few days," Aphrodite says. "If I had to guess, I'd say you'll be back to your usual male self by Monday, maybe Tuesday."

Ty isn't exactly sure how this works, but he does know that it seems a bit unfair. "So, wait," he protests. "How come I'm a woman when I didn't even fall asleep in a dress or a wig because I'm not as thick as Axl, and you're not? You're the same as always? How'd you escape this?"

Aphrodite shrugs. "It's usually pretty random, who gets affected," she explains. "Not everyone does every time the island does something to us. I just happened to luck out this time."

Ty wants to curse again, but he wants to curse loudly and profusely and maybe it's not the best idea to do in the presence of a woman. "So, what, I go home and give in to Anders' mockery? That's a great weekend," he notes sarcastically.

For some reason, probably because Aphrodite feels like Ty is heavily implying it's her fault he can't be a man again right now since she's refusing to let him bang her, she gets more annoyed by his statement than she probably should.

"Oh, suck it up, Dude Looks Like a Lady," she says, crossing her arms beneath her breasts. "This is minor compared to some of the stuff the island's done to people. As soon as you're gifted with the dead body of your spouse, then you can come crying to me about how awful it is."

"If Hel shows up here," he says evenly, "then god help us all and I hope she's dead." Because the havoc she can wreak when she's got the goddess spirit in her is one thing, but when she's herself, it's just as bad. "Her showing up dead isn't awful, it'll be a relief."

"Congratulations on being married to someone you hate," Aphrodite deadpans. "My husband happened to be the love of my life, and you know what I meant. Replace 'dead spouse' with something that would totally traumatize and horrify you."

And that? That means Dawn. He sobers up at the thought of Dawn turning up on these shores dead, god forbid her lips blue because he's been the cause even though he's fought so damn hard to get away from her to keep her safe. He gives a nod and an apologetic cant of his head. "I didn't mean to offend like that. It's just that...well, Eva wasn't exactly the wife I wanted so much as the path I had to walk."

Aphrodite sighs. "I know you didn't," Aphrodite says. "I'm sorry you're stuck as a chick, for what it's worth."

"Suppose there's nothing left to do but go home and face Anders' ridicule," Ty says glumly, given that he's probably due for a whole day's worth of that, if not more. "I don't suppose you have anything to drug a grown man?" he asks hopefully.

Aphrodite laughs at that, in spite of herself. "I don't, unfortunately," she says. "Unless you want to borrow a big vase?"

"Tempting," Ty admits, because there have been so many times when he'd wanted to smash pottery over Anders' head. "I think I'll start with avoiding him for a while, though," he says. "Thanks, though. For the help."

"Sure," Aphrodite replies, "even if it wasn't the help you were looking for. Sorry I couldn't do more, dude."

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