outof_thedark | (no subject)

(no subject)

The worst part of all of this isn't the sudden acquiring of tits or the fact that he's got hair to cope with longer than he'd like. It's none of that. It's the fact that Ty's actually got past family history to compare it to. He's nowhere near as hot as Axl had been in his female form, which isn't exactly unexpected, but it's still ridiculous.

So he takes a cue from Axl and heads out to find the nearest goddess of love.

With no Michele around, that leaves him with the greek version and hopefully it works the same as it does back in Auckland and fucking his way back to being a man is possible. Ty wanders to Aphrodite's door and knocks firmly, cursing under his breath when a gust of wind tangles his hair in his face again.

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For some reason, probably because Aphrodite feels like Ty is heavily implying it's her fault he can't be a man again right now since she's refusing to let him bang her, she gets more annoyed by his statement than she probably should.

"Oh, suck it up, Dude Looks Like a Lady," she says, crossing her arms beneath her breasts. "This is minor compared to some of the stuff the island's done to people. As soon as you're gifted with the dead body of your spouse, then you can come crying to me about how awful it is."

"If Hel shows up here," he says evenly, "then god help us all and I hope she's dead." Because the havoc she can wreak when she's got the goddess spirit in her is one thing, but when she's herself, it's just as bad. "Her showing up dead isn't awful, it'll be a relief."

"Congratulations on being married to someone you hate," Aphrodite deadpans. "My husband happened to be the love of my life, and you know what I meant. Replace 'dead spouse' with something that would totally traumatize and horrify you."

And that? That means Dawn. He sobers up at the thought of Dawn turning up on these shores dead, god forbid her lips blue because he's been the cause even though he's fought so damn hard to get away from her to keep her safe. He gives a nod and an apologetic cant of his head. "I didn't mean to offend like that. It's just that...well, Eva wasn't exactly the wife I wanted so much as the path I had to walk."

Aphrodite sighs. "I know you didn't," Aphrodite says. "I'm sorry you're stuck as a chick, for what it's worth."

"Suppose there's nothing left to do but go home and face Anders' ridicule," Ty says glumly, given that he's probably due for a whole day's worth of that, if not more. "I don't suppose you have anything to drug a grown man?" he asks hopefully.

Aphrodite laughs at that, in spite of herself. "I don't, unfortunately," she says. "Unless you want to borrow a big vase?"

"Tempting," Ty admits, because there have been so many times when he'd wanted to smash pottery over Anders' head. "I think I'll start with avoiding him for a while, though," he says. "Thanks, though. For the help."

"Sure," Aphrodite replies, "even if it wasn't the help you were looking for. Sorry I couldn't do more, dude."

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